Millstone or Hot Air Balloon?
During a family crisis a few years ago, I very much wanted to help my mother with the difficulties that arose. However, with two young children in tow it became impossible to be of proper assistance and in jest I referred to the children as my millstones. Although it was a light-hearted comment, I was becoming increasingly frustrated and asking many questions about my role as a mother. At a church service we were invited to blow up a balloon until it burst if we wanted to see a breakthrough in our lives. It sounded crazy and I wouldn’t recommend ‘trying this at home’, but sometimes a practical, tangible action can help us to recognise what can be achieved in the immaterial world. I plucked up the courage to do this mad thing and I blew up a balloon. At the point of most resistance when I felt so tired of blowing, the breakthrough came and the balloon burst. As my head shot backwards with the force, I felt release and had an epiphany.
I had viewed my children as a hindrance to my personal fulfilment and to my work, but they were my work. I shouldn’t be growing them up so that I could get on with my own life, I should be enjoying the process. Children are not an interruption but a development and can enrich life immeasurably. Even though I had been joking when I called my children millstones, the connotations were negative. A millstone around your neck prevents you from doing what you want to do and drags you down until you sink into a mire of despair. My children were to be my hot air balloons. I would inflate them and together we would rise to new heights and fresh adventures. Because of them, I will see horizons that would otherwise be impossible. With a positive attitude and a renewed mind, your child will give you the ride of your life!
This is part of a series of considering the positive and negative aspects of being at home. Choose the category ‘Why am I a stay-at-home mum?’ to read more in this series.
Help! I'm a stay-at-home mum 
Love the way you changed your attitude to a positive one! I’m also a SAHM, and truly believe that being with our kids is at times trying, but these days are also so precious and priceless!
I did have a full time career I enjoyed, but being made redundant forced me to re-evaluate – now I work from home and try to be a full time mum at the same time. Your post really spoke to me – I need to make some choices and stop missing out my kids growing up time.
Thank you for your encouraging email. It is helpful to here how my blog can assist others as it is a tricky when we need to review our life. I sometimes think of life as having doors – some doors (opportunities) have to shut for others to open and each phase of life offers new opportunities but others close as that period is over.